Season 1 and 2
BoJack Horseman: I am not afraid of commitment. I commit to things all the time. It's the following through on that commitment that I take issue with.
Tom Jumbo-Grumbo: Well, BoJack, surely, even you would agree that the troops are heroes.
BoJack Horseman: I don't agree to that. Maybe some of the troops are heroes but not automatically, I'm sure a lot of the troops are jerks; Most people are jerks already, and it's not like giving a jerk a gun and telling him it's O.K. to kill people suddenly turns that jerk into a hero.
Wayne: You can live your happy Zelda life in this happy Zelda town and pretend you're a happy Zelda, but I know you, and this isn't you. People don't change, Diane, not really. Mr. Peanutbutter's a Zelda. He's happy and he's carefree and he's loving, but you and me, we're Zoes... We're Zoes, Diane. We're cynical and we're sad and we're mean. There's a darkness inside you, and you can bury it deep in burritos as big as your head, but someday soon, that darkness is gonna come out, and when it does, I want you to call me.
BoJack Horseman: You know, sometimes I think I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me and now its all gone. And I'll never get it back in me. It's too late. Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?
BoJack Horseman: My question is for Diane. Look, I'm sorry about all the stuff I said about you earlier. We can publish the book you wrote. You're obviously a better writer than I am. And... And I don't... actually even care what the world thinks about me anymore. I just hated reading that book because I hated feeling like that's how *you* saw me. Because I guess you know me better than anybody, if you think that.
BoJack Horseman: Um, I-I guess my question is do you... do you think it's too late for me?
Diane Nguyen: What?
BoJack Horseman: I mean am I just doomed to be the person that I am? The person in that book? I mean it's not too late for me, is it? It's not too late? Diane, I need you to tell me it's not too late.
Diane Nguyen: BoJack, I...
BoJack Horseman: I need you to tell me that I'm a good person. I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive, but underneath all that, deep down, I'm a good person, and I need you to tell me that I'm good. Diane? Tell me, please, Diane. Tell me that I'm good.
Diane Nguyen: When I first moved to L.A., I thought I was gonna do really important work. Y'know, just writing stuff that makes a difference! Then you gotta fall into one thing, and then another.
BoJack Horseman: Well, you got time. There's always later, right?
Diane Nguyen: Yeah, I guess there's always later. Do you remember the last time I saw you and you asked if I thought you were a good person deep down?
BoJack Horseman: Do I remember that? Yeah, vaguely.
Diane Nguyen: You really caught me off guard. I didn't know what to say.
BoJack Horseman: Well, do you? Think I'm a good person? Deep down?
Diane Nguyen: That's the thing. I don't think I believe in "deep down". I kinda think all you are is just the things that you do
BoJack Horseman: This is my last chance to make people love me again. If this goes out, everybody's gonna see the real me. Now, I spend a lot of time with the real me, and believe me, nobody's gonna love that guy.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Sweetie, you know I support you, whatever you want to do, but you're not gonna find what you're looking for in these awful made-up places. The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead.
BoJack Horseman: I always skip the Christmas ones.
Todd Chavez: Because the theme's about family and togetherness are a chilling reminder of your isolation?
BoJack Horseman: No, but thank you for that. Todd, special holiday episodes are always stupid. Cynical cash grabs, by greedy corporations, looking to squeeze some extra nelson points, from sentimental clap-trap for mush brain idiots, who'd rather spend their Christmas watching a fake family TV, then actually trying to have a conversation with their own dumb families.
Todd Chavez: I like when people on TV, hug each other.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Sweetie, you know I support you, whatever you want to do, but you're not gonna find what you're looking for in these awful made-up places. The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead.
BoJack Horseman: I always skip the Christmas ones.
Todd Chavez: Because the theme's about family and togetherness are a chilling reminder of your isolation?
BoJack Horseman: No, but thank you for that. Todd, special holiday episodes are always stupid. Cynical cash grabs, by greedy corporations, looking to squeeze some extra nelson points, from sentimental clap-trap for mush brain idiots, who'd rather spend their Christmas watching a fake family TV, then actually trying to have a conversation with their own dumb families.
Todd Chavez: I like when people on TV, hug each other.
Beatrice Horseman: The t-shirt told me to 'Just Do It'.
Beatrice Horseman: I don't know to what 'It' the t-shirt referred, but I will not be spoken to in that tone by an article of clothing.
Beatrice Horseman: I don't wanna fight you, BoJack. I just wanted to tell you I know. I know you wanna be happy, but you won't be and... I'm sorry.
BoJack Horseman: What?
Beatrice Horseman: It's not just you, you know. Your father and I, we... well... you come by it honestly. The ugliness inside you. You were born broken. That's your birthright. And now you can fill your life with projects, your books, and your movies, and your little girlfriends, ...but it won't make ya whole. You're BoJack Horseman. And no cure for that.
Mr. Peanutbutter: All I ever wanted was to be your friend. And you treat me like a big joke. You think I don't notice? Why don't you like me?
BoJack Horseman: Mr. Peanutbutter...
Mr. Peanutbutter: No, tell me.
BoJack Horseman: Because... I'm jealous.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Oh. Of what? Diane?
BoJack Horseman: No. Of everything. Everything comes so easy for you.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Oh, and it doesn't for you? You're a millionaire movie star with a girlfriend who loves you, acting in your dream movie. What more do you want? What else could the universe possible owe you?
BoJack Horseman: I... want... to feel good about myself. The way you do. And I don't know how. I don't know if I can.
Wanda Pierce: When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
Wanda Pierce: What happened?
BoJack Horseman: Same thing that always happens. You didn't know me and then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.
BoJack Horseman: Ow, crap. I hate this. Running is terrible, everything is the worst.
[Lying down, panting heavily]
BoJack Horseman: Oh my God, oh my God.
Jogger: [stands over BoJack] It gets easier.
BoJack Horseman: Huh?
Jogger: Everyday, it gets a little easier.
BoJack Horseman: Yeah?
Jogger: But you gotta do it everyday, that's the hard part. But it does get easier.
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